Sunday, November 2, 2014

Atlantic Division Predictions

How do you feel when the Oscar Award for best picture goes to the movie you have never heard of?
How do you feel when you go to your favorite restaurant (starved) only to find they closed early?
How do you feel when you go to see your favorite band in concert…and they play the “soon to be released and none of the classics?


If your answers to the above questions is “incomplete” and “maybe a little bit robbed”…STOP READING NOW….you will not like the ending here…

This week is opening night for the NBA…6 teams are in action.  We are only 2520 regular season games away from knowing who will make the 2014/15 playoffs.  That seems like an awfully long time to wait to see who will be the “Beast of the East” or the “Least of the East”.  To keep my article somewhat short…I am going to bust my prediction into 3 parts….The Atlantic, The Central and The Southeast.  Today…The Atlantic…

To accurately predict the outcome of the Atlantic Division, I will need to reach deep into the bowels of the basement storage and pull out the MAGIC 8 Ball…a few shakes here and a few shakes there…flip the ball upside down and see who will rule this season… its MAGIC… 



Here are my predictions (in alphabetical order):
ME:                                       Oh Magic 8 Ball….will the BOSTON CELTICS win the Atlantic this                                                           season?

MAGIC 8 BALL:                          
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD

When a teams three highest paid players are pulling down a cool $34 million and your reaction when you hear their names spoken aloud is…


Rajon Rondo                         $13 million a year               Is he related to Rajon “I am injured” Rondo?
Gerald Wallace             $11 million a year                  Didn’t he play for the original John Thompson?
Jeff Green                        $10 million a year                  Who?

…you have to ask, “Is that MAGIC 8 Ball a prophet of sorts?”

ME:                                    Magic 8 Ball…will the Brooklyn Net win the Atlantic this season:

MAGIC 8 BALL:                        MY SOURCE SAYS NO



When your three highest salaries are a combined 101 years of age…

Kevin Garnett                        38 years old
Joe Johnson                        33 years old
Deron Williams            30 year old

…you realize the 8 ball is no prophet.  Visiting a “source” to get that answer = NO PROPHET ZONE


ME:                                    Big 8….what is the news on the KNICKS?  They hanging one this year?
MAGIC 8 BALL:                        ASK AGAIN LATER


Clearly the PHIL FACTOR in play here…the Zen Master is reconfiguring the universe and he has thrown the infamous split finger to the 8 Ball…and it is stumped and buying some time….so, we will in fact ask later!

ME:                                    Yo 8!  Whazz up wiff the Sixers?   They going Moses Malone in ’15?

MAGIC 8 BALL:                        CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN!
I got nothin!   Total payroll is $33 million…(Boston is paying their top three $34 million)…$33 million for 15 players?   Head coach is Brett Brown.  Did I already say, “I got Nothin?”  Rita’s…Geno’s….and Flyers…

ME:                                    Crazy 8???  Do the Raptors have a chance up there in Tim Horton land?

MAGIC 8 BALL:            
WITHOUT A DOUBT


7-1 in the pre-season….the only loss was to Sacramento…maybe an over-look there?  Young, hungry and talented.  When the maple syrup starts dripping and the Leaf’s fans are done…look for the Raptors to challenge the leaders of the Southeast and Central for the East Crown…


So…early on I asked you about Oscars, restaurants and concerts.  How do I tie that into my prediction?

How will you feel if the Toronto Raptors win the Atlantic Conference and challenge The Roses, The James and The Ex-James’ in the Eastern Conference Finals?  I will tell you how you will feel?

1.     Name any player on the Raptors current roster?
2.     Name the Raptors team colors, Arena or province they play in?
3.     Is Rob Ford affiliated with the team?

Watching the Toronto Raptors in the playoffs would definitely be like the Oscar, restaurant and concert analogy….You would feel incomplete & even a little bit robbed…


Stay tuned for the Southeast and Central predictions.




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