Worst Players in the NBA

            The close of potentially the least memorable seasons of NBA basketball are upon us. The three most popular franchises in America (Knicks, Celtics, and Lakers) will end up with losing records and all will most likely miss the playoffs. In a season where the Pacers and the Spurs are atop their respective conferences, there is no other adjective to describe this season besides Horeawful.

            In celebration of this season’s horeawfulness, we at ThatOldWood nominate our worst players in the NBA and provide comedic commentary as to why they are the worst. Please tell us what you thin about each of our selections.

Wood Pick #1                                                                                        

                                                                        Jason Collins

The other guys made me put this one on here. I actually think Jason Collins is pretty talented. I mean look at his highlight real. 

As you can see the man jumps better than Bill Russell. When I say that I mean that he jumps better than Bill Russel, I mean the guy jumps better than the 85 year old Bill Russell... maybe.

Lets take a look at Jason Collins impressive stat line not only this year but throughout his career.

Jason Collins is like Jackie Robinson… If Jackie Robinson was born with two clubbed feet. I don’t think that we as a society should be amazed at the fact that Jason Collins is gay and playing in the NBA. Rather, I believe that our society should be amazed that Jason Collins is playing in the NBA. The man has no athletic capability whatsoever.

I guess I shouldn't be so tough on the guy. After all, his shot makes it rain.

                                     

Men

Wood Pick #2

                                                               Kwame Brown

            Throughout time there has been much argument regarding the meaning of many of the scriptures within John the apostle’s book of Revelations. The obscure references to dragons, flying machines, and 144,000 human beings has been the basis for much of the disagreement between the various sects within Christianity. Among the most heavily debated scripture is this

Many believe this scripture is a reference to the second coming or the beginning of the apocalypse. Many believe that John The Revelator was foreseeing the destruction of earth through a vengeful good. These notions, however, are false.

What John the Revelator saw and described was Kwame Brown playing basketball.

Here is a look at the teams that Kwame Brown has played for in his illustrious career.

Career history
2001–2005	Washington Wizards
2005–2008	Los Angeles Lakers
2008	Memphis Grizzlies
2008–2010	Detroit Pistons
2010–2011	Charlotte Bobcats
2011–2012	Golden State Warriors
2012–2013	Philadelphia 76ers

If you take a look at each teams record you will see that hell has followed wherever Kwame Brown has followed. He is the eleventh plague, the anti christ, and the whore of all the earth wrapped into one massive waste of talent. 

But don't take my word for it. 

Wood Pick #3

                                                                 Derek Fisher

This was the greatest moment of Derek Fisher’s life (Watch the whole thing, you’ll thank me).  

I love every part of this clip. The excited Spurs after TTIMMMAAYY hits The Best Shot You’ve Never Heard Of.  The look on Shaq’s face at :38 seconds into the clip.  And even better than all of that, the hilarity of Fish hitting the shot, and then running away from his teammates out of the stadium.  It was a great shot.  One the greatest shots I’ve ever seen.

I legitimately thought Fish retired after that season.  

I am flabbergasted every time I turn on a Thunder game and see Derek Fisher.  He doesn’t even have old man guiles like Tim Duncan or Andre Miller.  He’s just freaking old.  He occasionally hits a wide open three, and this seemingly justifies his incredible just freaking oldness. Even if I see Fish play Tuesday night, if see him play again Wednesday night, my immediate thought will be, “Holy crap, Fish is still in the league?”  

You hit one of the great shots in NBA history Fish.  You’ve won multiple championships.  You have nothing left to prove.  You cannot go riding into the sunset, because the sun set a while ago.  But hey, you’ve played for like 6 years too many, so I assume you can afford a car with headlights.